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The big thing these days is to reboot or update classic brands. Video games are really one of the best industries for that. We have seen many franchises reinvent and reboot themselves over the years. Some franchises have been able to do so successfully. However, there are still some franchises that are dormant or in hibernation.


Harm could very well come to me in the comments section if I neglected this one. In 1987 Konami dropped a true NES classic on us, complete with a legendary cheat code that burned itself into the public’s collective consciousness through sheer repetitive use. You are thinking it to yourself right now.

Contra was Nintendo’s killer multiplayer app. Two players with a crazy arsenal of guns blowing the shit out of everything unfortunate enough to share the screen with themis pretty much the definitive gaming experience and it’s seldom been done better.

Earthworm Jim

In the 1990s I was all about the Earthworm Jim games and the short-lived, but awesome, animated TV series. The Earthworm Jim games had an odd premise and hero, but they were incredibly fun and imaginative experiences. I would like to see a proper update of the Earthworm Jim franchise, hopefully developed by Double Helix and creator Doug TenNapel. I will even accept HD updates of Earthworm Jim 1 and 2, but just make it happen!


11 years was a long time to wait for a third entry to come out on the Game Boy Advance. Now diehards are eighteen years older, and still holding out hope that Nintendo will answer their prayers. Face it, the last chance for Earthbound to hit a console came towards the end of the N64's life. Nintendo opted to release Mother 3 on their aforementioned handheld instead. You want a game that's different, with charm, and great music? Learn to love Animal Crossing. We know it's not the same, but at least Nintendo will release a new one in your lifetime.

Fire Pro Wrestling

Fire Pro Wrestling Returns is probably one if, if not my favorite, pro wrestling video game. What the game lacked with flashy graphics it made up for in gameplay and the sheer amount of customization options. I want to see another update to this franchise available for the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One.


Every fanboy waits and waits and Valve just holds out. It's like they're afraid of making too much money. Oh, what's that you say? "But needledick you told us there are too many first person shooters already." True, I did. But, Half-Life is no ordinary FPS. Everything was already spot on in the days of the Xbox. The physics were tight. The soundtrack was amazing. The AI is still amongst the best ever. Maybe Valve thinks they struck gold once and can't replicate it? Here's hoping that that passive aggressive challenge strikes a nerve and gets us the long-awaited sequel.



Maximo was a great game and one of the highlights of my days with the PlayStation 2. It was basically the heir-apparent to the Ghosts ‘n Goblins. Unfortunately, the franchise never got another follow-up after Maximo vs. Army of Zin. These games were a fun evolution of hack and slash/platform games, with a great art style. The further adventures of Maximo are overdue for an update, so Maximo will hopefully find Sophia.


Nintendo has recently stated a desire to revive some of their classic franchises. Like a virgin's ding dong F-Zero has remained dormant for far too long. We've now gone a decade without an updated, nigh speed-of-light racer. You know how Captain Falcon's in every Smash Bros.? Todays kids don't know who the fuck that is.

That's all moot because, though Nintendo wants to bring some oldies back (before people forget what they are) F-Zero was specifically named as one they aren't planning on. It wasn't clear if they are branching out to focus elsewhere or if it doesn't suit their bottom line (or, again, if even they can't do racing games on the Wii/Wii U). If you miss it blame yourself. And if you bought it blame yourself for not buying, like, nine more copies.

Legacy of Kain/Soul Reaver

This is another franchise that has been long dormant since 2003. Fans have been avidly awaiting some sort of continuation of the franchise for many years, but the stars have been unable to allign. Series director Amy Hennig moved on, and now she is at Visceral Games. I do not know if this is even possible, but I want to see a true continuation of the saga of Raziel and Kain. And I am not counting Nosgoth.

Crash Bandicoot

Platformers are being phased out. We live in an industry dominated by gritty action pieces, FPS's and a choiceless sports market. Crash is a throwback to an era where non-Italian plumbers could double-jump and kill with a simple leap that snapped the neck. When somebody touched you, you died. It all made perfect sense. A boatload of those quick twitch cellphone games that are addictive as hell (and played on public transportation worldwide) are poor man's versions of this crack-like genre. Still this was the series that put Naughty Dog on the map and made Jak, Uncharted and The Last of Us possible. Let today's chillens know why.